Why wanting to be seen doesn’t make you fake — it makes you human
What if the shame around wanting attention is the very thing keeping you invisible? In this episode of Find Your Freaks, content strategist and systems whisperer Mary Williams joins Tonya Kubo to dismantle the myth that visibility equals vanity.
Mary argues that the desire to be seen — to be recognized, known, and trusted — is not ego but honesty. She shares how craftsmanship, consistency, and curiosity create sustainable visibility, and why being “famous” for your work doesn’t have to mean being performative. From OG internet “dinosaurs” to the influencer-industrial complex, this conversation is a masterclass in showing up with integrity when the world feels loud and crowded.
Episode Highlights
- [03:55] Why so many entrepreneurs secretly want fame but won’t admit it
- [09:55] Why you should think like you’re going to be famous (even if you’re not)
- [11:32] Craftsmanship as the real key to sustainable visibility
- [19:18] Showing up at “eleventy billion percent” when nobody’s watching
- [23:13] Finding your freaks in person — and why it matters
- [29:00] The mechanics of genuine human connection
- [40:37] How acting classes can make you a better marketer
Say the Quiet Thing Out Loud
Most of us were raised to believe that wanting attention makes you arrogant. Especially in the online business world, “humility” often looks like hiding.
Mary calls B.S. on that. She’s worked with countless entrepreneurs who crave visibility but are too afraid to admit it — even to themselves.
“The quiet thing that has to be said out loud is because I want to be famous.” — Mary Williams Share on XThat line lands like a lightning bolt.
Fame, as Mary defines it, isn’t about ego. It’s about visibility: the desire to be seen for who you are and the work you create. The shame around that desire keeps too many people playing small, mistaking invisibility for humility.
Owning your ambition doesn’t make you shallow. It makes you honest.
Craft Over Clout
We’ve been told that success online means posting constantly and showing up everywhere. Mary calls that out for what it is: an exhausting lie.
“We’ve hit an era where you kind of need to think like you’re going to be famous. But that doesn’t mean acting like it.”
Instead, she points to craftsmanship as the real differentiator. True visibility is built on skill, not scale. It’s the long game — the years of practice, care, and curiosity that make your message unmistakably yours.
“If you’re regurgitating Mel Robbins or Simon Sinek, they’re not going to know who you are. They’re just going to know who you read.” — Mary Williams Share on XCraftsmanship is showing up fully, even when no one’s clapping yet.
Visibility Starts With Humanity
Mary may live online, but she builds her deepest connections offline — in Feral Book Club, Hustle Hard, Slide Faster, and her local Portland communities.
“If you don’t human enough in the real world, it shows.” — Mary Williams Share on XReal human interaction sharpens empathy and originality. It keeps your message from blending into the algorithmic noise. The secret to being seen isn’t better filters; it’s being more human.
You Are Your Own System
As a former systems coach, Mary has a simple but confronting truth: You are your own system.
If you keep struggling to be seen, it might not be your platform — it might be your patterns. She invites entrepreneurs to look inward before blaming the algorithm. Visibility without self-awareness turns into performance. But visibility built on knowing who you are becomes presence.
Practice Being Seen
For anyone afraid to take up space, Mary offers unexpected advice: Take an acting class.
Visibility is a skill. Presence can be practiced. The goal isn’t to become a performer — it’s to learn how to channel your authentic energy through a screen or a mic. The reps matter. The practice matters.
Because when your moment comes, you’ll be ready to meet it.
Freak Flags Fly
Every interview ends with five quick questions. Here’s how Mary waved her flag:
- You’re my kind of freak if… you like to read five-chili-pepper spicy books.
- Something you love that your friends just don’t get: Asian snacks — especially White Rabbit candy.
- Community you’d infiltrate just to understand it better: The Gary Vee and Tim Ferriss crowds — to see what’s really going on in those masterminds.
- Tool, ritual, or practice that keeps you connected: Building in-person communities like PechaKucha Portland and Feral Book Club.
- Someone doing freakishly good work who deserves a bigger stage: Young cosplay creators engineering jaw-dropping, functional designs (like Katniss Everdeen’s flaming dress).
Meet Our Guest
Mary Williams is the founder of Sensible Woo and owner of Sasquatch Media Grounds, a full-service production studio in Vancouver, Washington. A former Hollywood professional turned systems coach, she blends storytelling, structure, and soul to help solopreneurs make media that matters. Mary is also the host of the School of Moxie podcast and a leader in several creative Portland communities, including Feral Book Club and Hustle Hard, Slide Faster.
Meet Your Host
Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point.
Episode Transcript
Get the full transcript from Episode 10.
Resources & Mentions
- SensibleWoo.com
- Sasquatch Media Grounds — Mary’s full-service production studio
- School of Moxie Podcast
- Mary on Instagram
- Mary on LinkedIn
Support the Show
If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.
You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.
Let’s Stay Freaky
What’s Next
Mary’s episode asks us to confront the real motives behind our desire to be seen. In the next episode, Tonya unpacks why craftsmanship and connection—not perfection—are the only sustainable routes to authentic visibility in a fame-driven world.
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