Asking for What You Want on Social Media

Are you posting and posting to social media and getting a whole lot of nothing in return?

Do you ever wonder why some people get so many likes, comments and shares on social media while you get just crickets?

Is it you? Your audience? The algorithm?

My question for you is: ARE YOU ASKING?

If you want social media engagement, you have to ask for what you want.

Author and book launch maven Anna LeBaron is a pro when it comes to asking for — and getting — what she wants on social media. How? She understands how people behave online and what motivates them to act.

She’s been asking for what she wants since she launched her first book, The Polygamist’s Daughter, back in 2017. The result? She has close to 800 reviews on Amazon, 1,200 on Goodreads, and more than 600 on Audible. She also has 28,900 followers on TikTok (more than all other social media channels combined), but you have to watch the video above to find out more about that.

And if the results she’s gotten for herself don’t impress you, take a look at the books she’s launched. Maybe you’ve heard of Jen Hatmaker, Bob Goff, Rachel Hollis and Max Lucado…or Gary Sinise, John Maxwell and Rachel Held Evans? Anna has launched their books into the stratosphere.

If anyone understands how to get the engagement you need on social media, it’s Anna.

Anna’s secret to asking for what you want and getting it on social media can be summarized in the following five steps:

  1. Ask for what you want (or need)
  2. Assume generosity
  3. Follow the Golden Rule
  4. Give more than you take
  5. Honor your limits

#1 Ask for What You Want (or Need)

People can’t help you if they don’t know how. So the first step to getting what you want on social media is to ask for it. Ask for what you want or need, and tell people why it matters — how will it help you?

Then let them decide whether they’ll consider it.

#2 Assume Generosity

If people follow you, they want to help you — Anna believes that to her core. By not asking for what you want, you rob them from the opportunity to offer you that help. Instead of worrying about appearing needy or annoying, assume that you attract social media followers with generous hearts and spirits.

#3 Follow the Golden Rule

The Golden Rule we all learned in school applies in social media as well: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You attract great followers by being a great follower. If you want to grow your Facebook followers, you need to be the best follower you know on Facebook. That’s the Golden Rule. Be the kind of follower you wish you had.

#4 Give More Than You Take

Anna has a perfect formula for the mix of give-and-take required for social media success: Serve + Serve + Serve + Serve + Sell. Simply put, you give four times more often than you ask. That’s how you get a reputation for generosity and how you attract and retain generous followers.

#5 Honor Your Limits

With all this talk of generosity and being an excellent follower, you might think Anna wants everyone to spend 24/7 in service to others. On the contrary, her best advice is that you give when you can as you can. When a family needs a hot meal in tough times, some friends donate a meal and others donate money to buy takeout. Both have value and are deeply appreciated.

In the writing world, book sales and reviews are the pinnacle of support, but that’s not always true. If you’re not able to buy a book, you can still share about the book on social media. If you’re not able to share about a book on social media, you can recommend the author be interviewed on your favorite podcast or send the author an encouraging email.

Moving Forward

Getting what you want on social media isn’t as hard as you think. Like Anna says, it’s a matter of asking, giving more than you take and making sure to operate under positive intent. What will you ask for on social media today? And how do you plan to do it?

Anna’s Special TikTok Offer

Anna is a TikTok super-fan. It took her seven years to get 5,000 followers on Facebook. On TikTok, she crossed the 28,000-mark in just a few months. If you want to join her as an early-adopter and experience explosive growth on the newest social media channel, you’ll want to be at her upcoming TikTok workshop. Taking place on Friday, Sept. 11, at 11 a.m. Central Time, Anna will teach you the ins and outs of how (and WHY) to grow your social media using TikTok. Learn the right way to use TikTok right now. Register here:

How to Help Anna LeBaron

We can’t have a live show and article on asking for what you want if we don’t give Anna the opportunity to ask for what she wants. Since Anna is working to secure a second book contract, the best thing you can do is to help her grow her online platform by doing the following:


Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo

Social Media Consultant

Tonya Kubo is founder of Team Kubo Community Management. She supports experts, entrepreneurs, and enterprises in developing highly engaged online communities so they can grow their groups and get results without feeling frazzled. See the team in action at

Leave your comment or question


  1. Donna Chacko

    I’m here…feel like I am in a recalibration place about platform, my book, etc. I’m listening…

  2. Bethany Howard, Writer

    Are there any changes to this process if you are doing self publishing? Like I am not showing up to ask for anything because I’m honoring the Chance that a publisher took on me

    • Anna LeBaron

      Bethany Howard, Writer
      The reasons for asking may be different, but as an author, even a self-published author, you have the same basic needs to get your message out there:
      • Book sales
      • Book reviews
      • Social Media awareness of your book title and book cover.
      • Among others

  3. Ticcoa Leister

    The viral video was about her 50 siblings & growing up in a polygamist cult.

    • Anna LeBaron

      Anna Luke THANK YOU!!!
      Would you consider writing a one or two sentence review on Amazon?
      Reader reviews help first time authors like me SO MUCH!

      • Anna Luke

        Anna LeBaron sure! I listened to it on audible. You did such a great job!

        • Anna LeBaron

          Anna Luke You can still review on Amazon, even if you listened on Audible, so long as you have an Amazon account and make occasion purchases.

  4. Lori Young

    I’m a tik tok voyeur – but I’m curious about becoming a user, what are the top three suggestions for me?

    • Anna LeBaron

      Lori Young
      1. HAVE FUN!!!!!

      2. DIVE IN!!!
      Find a video you think is fun, and give it your own unique spin.

      3. ACT LIKE A CREATOR—Don’t Follow too many accounts when you are trying to grow.

      • Anna LeBaron

        #3 is for creators.
        If you are a consumer, and want to just have fun, this doesn’t apply, unless you want people to watch your videos you create for fun!

    • Lori Young

      So helpful!! Thank you Anna!! I’m excited about the tik tok training next week!

  5. Lori Young

    What about the negative comments – do you get a lot of those? I hate that!

    • Anna LeBaron

      Lori Young I have gotten a handful. Maybe five in almost 2,000,000 (MILLION) views.

      I just ignore, delete, or block, as needed.

  6. Donna Chacko

    What do the other authors mentioned (Goff, Wariner, etc.) have to do with Anna. I started late so maybe you mentioned this early….

  7. Lori Young

    What about catching myself a HOT DATE – I heard Tik Tok is the new Tinder

  8. Tony Luiz

    Tonya Kubo what program/app are you using to record this?

    • Tonya Kubo

      Tony Luiz Great question! Affiliate link: StreamYard, (they have a great free plan)

  9. Rhonda Stoppe

    I’m sorry I missed this. We were still without power since the fire and evacuation. I’m hoping to catch the replay now that our power is back on.


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